They were your standout performer – reliable, driven, always willing to help. So when a leadership role opened up, promoting them felt like the obvious next step.
But a few months in, things feel… stuck. They’re overwhelmed, their team is underperforming, and problems keep landing back on their desk. What’s going on?
Chances are, they’ve fallen into what I call The Helper Trap – a common pattern where new leaders continue to prove their worth by doing rather than leading.
The Hidden Cost of Being Helpful
Most new leaders are promoted because they’re helpful. They fix problems, stay late, step in when things go wrong. That work ethic made them invaluable as an individual contributor.
But once they step into a leadership role, those same habits can quietly derail their success.
Instead of building team capability, they take on too much. Instead of coaching through challenges, they jump in to solve them. Instead of setting boundaries, they try to keep everyone happy.
The result? The team becomes dependent, the new leader becomes the bottleneck – and their confidence starts to erode.
The Trap in Action
It usually sounds like this:
- “It’s just quicker if I do it myself.”
- “They’re not ready for that level of responsibility yet.”
- “I feel bad saying no — they’re already under pressure.”
Each time they step in, they reinforce the idea that the team can’t operate without them. The more they help, the more they get pulled in — and the less space they have for the real work of leadership.
Breaking the Cycle
The first step out of the Helper Trap isn’t doing more, it’s leading differently.
That means helping the team grow, not doing it all for them. Things like:
- Asking coaching-style questions instead of giving immediate answers
- Letting team members struggle a little before stepping in
- Being clear about expectations and accountabilities
- Saying no to what doesn’t belong on their plate
This shift feels uncomfortable at first, for both the leader and the team. Mistakes might happen. Things may take longer. But that’s the stretch zone where growth happens.
What This Means for Hiring Managers and Business Owners
If you’re hiring for leadership roles, or promoting from within, be aware of the Helper Trap. Being helpful is a strength — but without the right development, it can become a liability.
Support new leaders by:
- Offering training that addresses this shift from doing to leading
- Normalising the discomfort of letting go
- Encouraging progress over perfection
Your best leaders won’t be the ones doing everything. They’ll be the ones building a team that can.
About the Author:
Andrea Tunjic is a leadership coach with 25+ years’ experience helping businesses grow confident, capable people leaders. Her Essential Leadership Skills program is designed for everyday managers navigating the messy middle between doing and leading. Learn more at andreatunjic.com.au.
