I don’t know what to call this practice, but over the years I have noticed that if I am going through a challenge or a trial I get to a point where I don’t want to think about it anymore. It is just making me feel worse and I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.  At that point I will make a conscience effort to help anyone and everyone who steps into my path.

An example of this is if I am too focused on my never-ending weight loss battle or trying to deal with a relationship issue and I am just making myself crazier with every passing thought. But then that morning I decide I am going to help others and not think about my issues at all for the whole day, and all of a sudden I get a text message from my friend who is in a low place so I send her positive words and uplifting songs that I hope will help her through it. Suddenly I am not so tough on myself for my own issues and problems.

Do not misunderstand. It is not like my problems go away magically. I am still x amount of kilos overweight and I still need to work through my relationship issues, but they are just not so overwhelming now.

And I do not delight in my friend’s pain, but I feel empathy and sympathy for her enough to take my eyes off myself and hopefully, I helped her without looking for anything back. I just wanted to help her not feel terrible.  Simple. I am amazed at how easy it is to do this daily. And in the best-case scenario it becomes habit so that I am doing it even when I am not going through issues myself.  However, the key is you have to be looking for the opportunity to present itself too. To be open to it so you can show kindness anywhere, anytime.

The highest form of Christian love is called Agape. This is a love that is in action, that shows empathy, extends the desire for good for others, wants the best and most importantly is UNCONDITIONAL. In other words, you look for nothing back.

I think that is why it is so effective when you need it most. You are not looking for a response to showing this type of love, but it comes back to your heart.  No need to talk about it or brag, it’s just something you do. And then it registers in your heart and all the anxiety and stress seems to subside and the clouds part in your stormy mind and there is clarity and peace.

I highly suggest you try it. The next time you find yourself bogged down with life’s problems when you find yourself spending more than too many days and nights focusing on it all, take a moment and say to yourself; “Right! I am going to try to focus on others today!” and then look for the opportunities.

It could be the co-worker you talk to everyday but know very little about, it could be your kid’s teacher, it could be the person who serves you coffee every morning. Look at their face and read their body language. Could they use a sincere smile that says you are going to be ok, could they use a pat on the back or a little note that says they are doing a great job? Do they need a bit of a longer lunch today to talk something out to a listening non-judging ear?

Be that person that steps up. It is worth it. And if you know what the name of this practice is please let me know.