When my daughter was young, she told me she was not as popular as I was when I was her age. I told her that the quantity of friends does not matter. It is the quality. I told her if you have only one friend that is there with you when you laugh as well as when you cry, then you are blessed. With that she was able to forge her way through life on her own path and not feel obligated to try and live in my shadow.
The funny thing is I have been lucky enough to be popular most of my life, but I also had a lot of heartache because I was a people pleaser and wanted everyone to like me. I am glad she did not inherit that character flaw. Especially in this day and age where people of all ages can be downright cruel in the name of friendship and cause life-long traumas.
However, even being a people pleaser, I came to a point in my life when I didn’t want to be at the mercy of people’s whims anymore and realized people come into your life for a reason and a season.
What this means is I can look back on my life and I know people whom I can still call friend from 1st grade (super long season) and I can see where they have impacted my life (the reason). But I also can look at a picture of someone in my scrapbook or come across a name on Facebook of someone whom I no longer have any contact with. I might have only known them for a brief moment (a super short season) but can remember also the impact they made in my life (the reason).
Therefore, I still remember all of these people (while I still can), no matter the length of time. Of course, sometimes there may be negative associations with these people but when I look back even if it was a painful friendship the interaction probably taught me something, I needed to know about myself and therefore the reason is still positive.
I think people these days are starved for friendship (post-covid) but are scared to open themselves up to be vulnerable. I think if you look at every stranger as a friend you have not met yet, then you open up to the right people coming into your life. But most importantly if they do come into your life, remember they are only there for a season and a reason. What that ends up looking like is up to you.
